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"Dear Elijah," by SirTayvaughn
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an untold story of unrequited love in which a deaf boy falls for someone he cannot have
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unum
Dear Elijah,
I saw you for the first time ever today;
Wide sholders trembling like tear drops rolling down your face.
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You hugged yourself as if your arms were casts, and you were trying to put your pieces back together.
And that was the first day
I wondered what someone's c r i e s
Sounded like.
Page 4 of 28
duo
Dear Elijah,
I saw you yet again today,
I almost mistook you as a barbie doll.
Your smile was as fake as the love at my family gatherings...
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Was I the only one that could see past the dimples on your smooth chocolate skin,
And teeth that made snow envious?
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tribus
Dear Elijah,
We were partners in Geology today,
And I think my frail heart had a power surge.
You asked me what my problem was; why I was ignoring you.
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And I could not bear to tell you
Tell you that I could only dream to hear your voice.
That the sounds of writing, the sounds of creation and all other things,
Were alien to me.
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quattuor
Dear Elijah,
You showed up to my house today.
Told me Mrs. Josephs told you everything,
What a heathen, that Mrs. Josephs.
But you told me that my secret was now yours...
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I don't think I've ever felt so relieved.
§gYou hugged me, unexpectedly,
Then walked away
As if you touched poison.
Page 10 of 28
quinque
Dear Elijah,
You showed up to school today,
And your eyes were decorated with purples and blues,
Much like the ones on my sides.
You told your friends that you fell down the stairs...
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I remember signing my therapist
The same thing
Last week...
I wanted to help you,
To listen to all of your problems,
But I couldn't.
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seni
Dear Elijah,
My dad came home late today,
I smelled Grey Goose and Tequila on his lips as he stepped close to me.
He yelled words I didn't quite understand.
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And like last night, and the night before,
He added more color to my milky way skin.
I was beginning to become a beautiful art work,
And the only artist would be Hennessy.
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septum
(6 months later; August 25th, 2016)
Dear Elijah,
Our friendship has bloomed into the most beautiful of flowers,
But I think I have plucked and crushed it.
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Last night your parents weren't home.
I snuck into your house and we watched a movie,
I stared at your plump lips as you looked me in the eyes and shared your soul with mine.
We talked for hours-
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Well you talked and I wrote.
Nevertheless, my face began to hurt from smiling so much for the very first time,
What a great problem to have.
And like some old cliche movie, our hands touched as we grabbed for more popcorn.
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I could have sworn you held mine a little longer than you should have.
When I leaned in to give in to my desires, your hand stopped me and I realized:
We were not in an old cliche movie.
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You were red eyed with anger, and your lips were moving too fast for me to discern the hieroglyphics they made.
You pointed at the door with the same wildness and malice in your eyes as my father.
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That was the very first day
I ever heard anything.
And it was the sound
Of my heart breaking.
And I was sure that I §unever wanted to hear...
Again.
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octo
(3 months later; November 20, 2016)
Dear Elijah,
I have laid awake every night since that day.
Too many thoughts are swarming around
Llike a hurricane,
Threatening to consume me.
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When I am amble to sleep, though,
I drown in my own tears.
I am now the ghost of my own happiness.
And w e
Are just strangers
With fading memories.
Page 22 of 28
novem
(December 27)
Dear Elijah,
This may be the last letter you receive in a while (do you even read them?)
I am so tired of clinging on to nothing, except hope that you may forgive me one day.
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I bathe in what ever is left of your existence to remind myself of you.
I grabbed my prescription pills,
One for everyday you were ever angry with me.
Well lookie there,
There aren't enough.
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It's funny how everything turns black,
As if my sight was stripped of its color;
The same way trees are stripped of bark in the Winter.
This is the Season of Death,
after all.
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decem
(December 28)
Dear Jordan,
Yes, I do read your letters.
I am so sorry that our relationship changed like the leaves in Autumn.
I have missed you;
Missed being around you.
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I needed to find myself,
And I cannot form an excuse on why it took so long.
Please don't hate me, Jordan,
But I think I love you.
I don't want you to become another scar, another bruise,
Another almost.
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I want you in my arms.
I love you Jordan Hayes, I fucking love you.
I want to apologize,
Take back all those nasty thins I ever said.
Please, please, please,
Give me another chance.
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I'm coming to visit you tomorrow,
I hope you'll understand
Like you always have.
xoxo,
Elijah.