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"Cast Spell Part1" by SinonLife
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Cast Spell
By: G.L Horton
CHARACTERS:
PAULA: the stage manager
MICKEY:teenage assistant stage mgr,
BECKY FARRELMicky's mother, a retired movie actress.
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VERNAthe leading woman
GREG the show's composer
RICH the show's leading man.
ELAINE: a cast member
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Time/Place/Scene: The setting is the bare stage of the tiny run down theater where GREG's original small-cast musical, THE HEART TRIED BY SORROW, has been playing for the past three weekends.
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Strike is about over, and the majority of the cast and crew have slipped away, too depressed by the negative review that came out in the morning paper to want to stay for the planned closing night party in the theater space.
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There are some atmospheric props and costumes scattered around, including a number of copies of the musical's poster, which features the familiar Tarot card design of a heart pierced by three swords.
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PAULA, the sturdy no-nonsense stage manager, is hard at work clearing the last of the set away.
MICKY, an intense and awkward young woman of high-school age, enters, carrying a red shawl and a poster.
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MICKY: Paula? Is this a costume?
PAULA: I think it's Verna's personal. I'll ask her.
(BECKY FARRELL, Micky's mother, enters. She is elegantly dressed and still quite beautiful)
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BECKY: Micky?
MICKY: Mother? When did you get here? Did you see the show?
BECKY: Of course I saw it! (applauds) Ben and I flew in from Paris this morning. You should've known we wouldn't miss it-- not for the world. (hugs MICKY)
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MICKY: You missed graduation.
BECKY: Well, I didn't miss this. I loved it! I want to meet all these talented young friends of yours--
MICKY: Mother, we flopped. The paper hated us. I don't want to be embarrassed by -
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PAULA: Mick! A little help?
(PAULA is struggling with a piece of scenery. MICKY hands the shawl to BECKY, rushes to help PAULA. Behind the next bit of dialogue, the other cast members are bustling about, crossing the stage with "stuff".
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RICH hangs up a dart board with a blown-up picture of the local drama critic as the target. As GREG and ELAINE notice what RICH is doing, they join him. )
PAULA: Thanks.
BECKY: Micky? Will you introduce me to this strong person?
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MICKY: You've met Paula, mother. The stage manager. When you were waiting for me that time, she read palms for you and Ben. You were shocked, because--
(PAULA wipes her hand on her jeans, shakes hands. )
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PAULA: Don't remind her! I'm Paula Lubek, Mrs. Farrell.
BECKY: Of course. Paula the Palmist.
PAULA: I hope you didn't take that stuff seriously--
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BECKY: But you were so good! Never mind. I'm just so pleased to see you again. This show has been such a good influence on our Micaela, I can't say how grateful we are. Ben and I --,
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(MICKY snatches the shawl from her mother, runs toward
VERNA, who is entering.)
MICKY: Verna? Is this shawl yours?
VERNA: Thanks. I planned to wear it for the party.
MICKY: I was afraid you wouldn't stay for it.
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(VERNA smiles, holds the shawl up as a veil. The background dart game that is in progress gets louder. Cast members are cheering RICH on while he is throwing darts at it the Critic.)
RICH: Take that! Right in the eye, Rafferty!
(Dart hits target.)
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GREG & ELAINE: All right! Yea!
BECKY: What's that?
PAULA: The target's the critic at the News. Ralph Rafferty.
GREG & ELAINE: All right! Yea!
BECKY: What's that?
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PAULA: The target's the critic at the News. Ralph Rafferty.
BECKY: Oh! Don't worry about him, my dears. Nobody reads the local critics. They're idiots. I mean, if this Rafferty person could see THE HEART TRIED BY SORROWand not fall in love
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with the leading lady--, MICKY: You mean Verna.
BECKY: Yes, Verna. What's the point of a dart in the eye for a man who is blind already? Your Verna is mesmerizing. She'll have a career. I'm not a fortune-teller, but I predict. Mesmerizing!
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GREG: Poor Rafferty. Blind, and now the guy's crippled, too -- from our theater's hard seats.
ELAINE: Get him! What kind of a jerk reviews seats!
(another dart hits target.)
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RICH: That kind!
VERNA: I wasn't mesmerizing on Friday night. The power just wasn't there.
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GREG: I guess we have to face reality. I wrote this SORROW thing, and with your help I put it on, and over the three weeks of the run maybe a thousand people came to see it.
Our friends and relatives told us we were great, they really liked it--
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ELAINE: They all liked it! Not just our friends!
(MICKY joins the group.)
GREG: What do they know? A lousy thousand! This morning one million people opened the newspaper and found out that we stank. The critic says so.
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ELAINE: The show was way down Friday, Greg. It's too bad that's the night Rafferty came to see it. But that doesn't change--
MICKY: It's not fair! Why print a bad review closing night?
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RICH: A critic's got to earn a living. Clever insults are what sells newspapers.
ELAINE: Look at John Simon.
MICKY: I think it's evil. Rafferty ought to be punished.
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RICH: Should I challenge him to a duel?
(flourishes dart as a sword)
ELAINE: We ought to put a hex on him. Get some nail parings, or a lock of his hair.
RICH: That's a job for you, Greg. I hear he's partial to boys.
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RICH: That's a job for you, Greg. I hear he's partial to boys.
VERNA: The picture is enough. You could hurt him with that picture. (RICH's dart hits picture)
RICH: Take that, asshole! Are you a witch, Verna? Up on curses?
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VERNA: I'm Creole. It's in the culture.
MICKY : Voodoo?
RICH: Why didn't you whip up some spells before the opening?
VERNA: I did. I should say, we did it together.
PAULA: We did what?
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VERNA: Mesmerizing, like Mrs. Farrell said. The concentration exercises we do to warm up-- that's a kind of magic spell. We raise a cone of power, we project our power out into the audience--.
PAULA: That's a spooky way of thinking about it.
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VERNA: It works. Sarah Bernhardt could move people to tears, reading the telephone book. What was that, but a magic spell?The Divine Sarah wasn't reciting a printed list of names and numbers, but telepathically, with image and emotion,taking controlof her
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audience--.
RICH: So what went wrong? Why didn't we hypnotize Rafferty?
VERNA: The transmission is delicate. A receptor may put up barriers--
RICH: That's Rafferty, all right!
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VERNA: Or the problem may be with the people on stage. An actor with critic-night nerves, or a powerful member of the stage crew sending out malign vibrations--
ELAINE: What is it about this cast? Micky always on about horoscopes, Paula reading palms--.
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GREG: That reminds me: Paula, you promised to read palms for the rest of us once we were past opening night.
PAULA: I was hoping you'd forget.
RICH: Not fair. You promised.
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PAULA: All right, as soon as I'm cleared away here--
RICH: I trace our troubles to the day Micky tried her hand at press agent-ing. If she hadn't called the News and dropped the names of all her stepfather's connections--
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MICKY: You said it's "who you know". I thought--
GREG: We were hexed long before that.
ELAINE: I told you not to whistle in the dressing room!
RICH: A hex named Steve. The Great director!
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PAULA: You thought he was a genius when he cast you.
BECKY: Don't be discouraged, children. I've seen many of these Off-Off things in New York, and you're as good as they are.
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PAULA: Good or bad, it's over. So how about some help here? If you clean up your own stuff, I'll be free to do some serious partying. Or some silly palmistry--
VERNA: I'll read your palm for you if you like, Greg. Since Paula's so busy--.
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(ELAINE and MICKY begin to help PAULA sort through the leftover items. BECKY follows MICKY.)
RICH: Two fortune tellers. Crawling with clairvoyants. I want dibs on Paula, as soon as she's done managing. OK, Paul?
PAULA: Sure.
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ELAINE: Join us for the party, Mrs. Farrell. We've got plenty.
PAULA: If this is all that's coming, we have a serious surplus. We may have to call in the Salvation Army.
MICKY: Failures have no friends.
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RICH: We haven't sunk so far that it's the Salvation Army already! (sings) "Nobody knows you, when you're down and out"
BECKY: I'm afraid I'm getting too old for promising young parties, my dears. Now, Micky--
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MICKY: Whatever. Stay, if you want.
PAULA: I understand that you used to be in the movies, Mrs. Farrell.
BECKY: In a very minor way. If I had one or two lines it was a breakthrough.
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My most famous scene, all I did was get out of a swimming pool and walk to the lockers.
MICKY: With the camera and every eye focused on her rear end.
RICH: "Cabot's Reach"! That's where I've seen you!
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ELAINE: The polka dot bathing suit.
RICH: Wow.
PAULA: I bet you've got a slew of stories we'd all love to hear.
MICKY: I've already heard them
BECKY: Not all of them, darling.
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RICH: All right! Sit right here, Mrs. Farrell.
BECKY: Becky. But my lips are sealed. Micky's right. There's nothing more boring than warmed over has-been gossip.
ELAINE: It's not boring to us.
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PAULA: Not to wannabees.
BECKY: Sorry. I'm not going to spoil my daughter's debut with a lot of embarrassing name-dropping. It's Micky's night.
MICKY: I had six lines, Mother. In a flop.
BECKY: Micky!
MICKY: Sorry. Greg--
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PAULA: Shh! (GREG turns from VERNA at the sound of his name)
GREG: What?
MICKY: No, really. I loved the show. I really believed in it--
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RICH: (crosses to GREG and VERNA) Don't hog Verna, Greg. I want her to tell my fortune, too. Get a second opinion.
GREG: I wouldn't if I were you.
RICH: Bad news?
GREG: I've got Spatulate fingers.
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RICH: Is that a social disease?
PAULA: Not at all. It's a good shape for a musician.
RICH: Yeah? What should be an actor's?
PAULA: A bulbous Apollo.
GREG: Sounds fatal.
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RICH: But what a way to go! Have I got it?
(PAULA looks at RICH'S hand)
PAULA: Fraid not.
RICH: Come on. Look closer.
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PAULA : Don't feel bad. I've read for dozens of actors, and the only bulbous Apollo I've ever seen was on a postal clerk.
RICH: Any of those actor guys stars? Have you held hands with a star?
PAULA: Not yet.