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"Journal" by KingdomCome
Page 1 of 12
I don't often get the chance to write down how I think or how I feel. As a reporter, my job is to report the facts, no matter how I may feel about them. This is a memoir of sorts, more for myself than anyone else.
Page 2 of 12
These are the thoughts I can't explain to anyone else, save perhaps Diana. She once asked me, "Do you ever feel alone?" and I don't think I've ever felt more understood in my life. I write this as I sit at the top of the Empire State building. It's quiet.
Page 3 of 12
I have so many people who save me every day. I know that might sound contradicting, but I mean it. What am I without Lois? Jimmy? Bruce? Ma or Pa? What am I without them? They made me who I am. But my great curse, even with them, I am still alone.
Page 4 of 12
Who am I? Am I Superman: "Able to change the course of mighty rivers," as the Planet writes? Am I Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper? Am I Kal-El, Krypton's last son? Or am I someone else?
Page 5 of 12
Clark isn't a disguise. I mean, he is, but not all the time. If that makes sense. When I landed here on Earth, my parents gave me the name Clark. I grew up as Clark, that was me. I never thought to alter my personality as a disguise.
Page 6 of 12
I'm proud to be a Kent. I don't know who Kal-El is. Jor-El and Lara, my birth parents, are just holograms. Teachers offering guidance. They love me, but I don't know them. Even with all of the memories of Krypton carried with me, I am not Kryptonian.
Page 7 of 12
Sometimes I think of Lana. I think of Smallville. Even with superhuman abilities, these things gave me a semblance of a childhood. A normal life. This world has taken me in as one of its own, I still repay that debt to this day. But, I am not human.
Page 8 of 12
As I grew older, Clark Kent needed to become a facade. A bumbling caricature of everything I'm not. I became Superman. Superman became... me? I don't know. People believe Superman to be perfect. They think I'm some sort of God. That's a lot to live up to.
Page 9 of 12
Ma and Pa believe in God, they think I was sent down from the heavens to fix the problems of the Earth. Krypton had a God of sorts, Rao. I guess that's what my parents believed. Both are real, in a sense. I've met them.
Page 10 of 12
Am I failing my parents? Jor-El and Lara? If I don't identify with my Kryptonian heritage, do I foresake them and their memory? This symbol I wear on my chest. The crest of the house of El. That is my legacy. But yet I still ask myself, who am I?
Page 11 of 12
I wonder how Conner feels. He is my clone after all, albiet my DNA apart of a Lex Luthor/Superman cocktail. Nevertheless, he's a good kid. I should talk to him, but I never know what to say. I wasn't ready to have kids, I guess. If I can call him that.
Page 12 of 12
Well, it looks like after the better part of a few months, I am home.
Things changed, but not much, never much.